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2019-10-25 - 3:35 pm

Dear readers-

Well, Mr. Burckle didn't show up yesterday. Apparently I wasn't the only one annoyed about going through all that nonsense, because Val, the director of not only Burckle, but also Burckle West next door (the place we graduate to, provided we don't lose our shit like Luna did) but our sister house, Hallie Place (for previously incarcerated women) as well, reamed us out about it at the morning meeting today. Oh, and apparently the girls at Hallie Place apparently bitched about us not helping break down the spread at the Women Helping Women. Never mind the fact it was impossible to get in and help like she wanted us to.

You see, we're not allowed to say negative things to one another, so we go for the passive-aggressive approach: we bitch to Val (when she's here), Cornelia in the mornings, or Beth in the afternoons and evenings. Then one of those three pull you aside and mention that "someone" had a problem with something you did, and would you kindly not do it anymore. Or, in the case of this morning, or will bitch about it at the morning meeting. I have to approach Burckle like I was back at FCC: yes, I would rather be anywhere but there, but I'm getting something out of it, so I guess I have no choice but to stoically put up with it 'till the bitter end.

My new roommate came in yesterday. Her name's Amy. Apparently, Stephanie, the resident bitch of our merry band of chain smokers, recovering addicts, people with mental health issues, ex-cons, and former homeless, knows her. From what Amy has told me, I gather she is fresh out of prison. She's nice, and I sincerely hope we can be friends, but I haven't seen much of her today, her grandma died and Val gave her permission to go to the wake today.

I'm not allowed to leave the hollowed grounds of Burckle for the first month for anything but "legitimate" reasons (for instance, Stephanie can leave for the day because she has a job and I'm only allowed out to go to the Lord's Place, the library, and to visit my mother). I'm kind of bored, to be honest. There's not much to do today. The lady who's to teach us how to sew has been sick for some time. The tv is turned off from nine am to five pm (and we're not allowed to turn it on, either).

I'm freezing in here. I'd fix the thermostat, but they put a lock on it. I'm starting to regret not taking up smoking, at least I'd have an excuse to go outside.

-psyche

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