2020-03-11 - 9:07 pm
Dear reader:
I fucked up.
Kathy warned me early on she had a three-strikes-and-you're-out policy when it comes to friendships. I forget what she told me my first strike was, but my second was the debacle with the money. Now it seems I reached my third strike today.
I'll admit I have a tendency to tell little white lies. I have found from personal experience that, sometimes it's better to just lie that to have to deal with the repercussions of the truth.
You see, I don't often do my chores. I'm supposed to, but unless I'm *physically told* to do them, I won't. I lied to Kathy today and told her I did. She caught me in the lie. Now she won't talk to me. She went to bed early and went to sleep with earplugs on. I went to shake her awake to tell her that Alexa the Intern, who runs some kind of cross between a morning meeting and a Mindfulness class on Thursdays, isn't coming, and that's when I learned of my third strike.
In my defense, I was in a bit of a hurry. The people who the Voc Rehab people set me up with I had an appointment with today and I didn't want to be late. I had to sign papers agreeing to join their on the job training program. Unfortunately, I was in such a hurry I forgot to bring my Social Security card, which was important for filling out the IRS forms that would get me into the job. And now Kathy's giving me the silent treatment. Shit. I've got five more months of this to go.
I forgot to tell you this, dear readers, but on one of my more recent trips to the VR office, the lady I'm working with gave me a copy of the results of that five-hour psychiatric evaluation I had to do. Turns out, everything Kathy has been telling me all along the psychiatrist also figured out. I won't bore you with every detail of what the shrink told me, but something that she said in her eval bothered me. She said I would have a lifelong problem making deep, warm friendships. Now that I've angered Kathy, this had stuck in my craw. Is it my destiny to do this all the time, for the rest of my life?
I'm skipping my GED tutoring tomorrow so I can give the lady my Social Security card. It's not a hardship-to be honest, if it wasn't for the fact I happen to *like* Ms. Janice, I wouldn't keep at it for as long as I've had-and I want to get that job.
But let me tell you, I'm gonna be bothered all night by Kathy being mad at me. I know I shouldn't, but I will.
-psyche
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